i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize