at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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