; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He has the fingertips of a God
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