I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize