Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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