That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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