Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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