how can u be prego again
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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