Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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