Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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