Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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