just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize