What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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