if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i black out too much to be "responsible"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize