dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
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i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
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I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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