The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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