i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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