Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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