Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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