I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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