its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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