Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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