Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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