Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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