i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a search helicopter?!
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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