At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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