My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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