it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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