you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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