I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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