He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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