The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize