She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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