I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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