Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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