Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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