It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize