think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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