if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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