She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
People with herpes should wear stickers.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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