She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize