I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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