She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
They took my balls.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize