I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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