Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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