My friends, they love my intelligence
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize