In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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