just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
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He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
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How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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