the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You ruined the universe
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