Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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