Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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